GOODWILL
self enlightenment exercise no.5
As you talk with people during the course of today, take notice of anyone who seems stressed or unhappy. Put aside your own troubles and worries and give them your undivided attention. Keep the conversation focused entirely on their situation and listen carefully to what they say. Give your unconditional emotional support and if possible, offer practical help.
NOTES
This is the most powerful exercise for achieving a moment of self enlightenment.
Please post a comment or question about how you got on with this exercise. I will gladly post a reply.
If you carry out the exercise, I suggest you listen to this guided meditation.
http://www.meditainment.com/inner-beauty/
Anyway, thinking about the others is to think about ourself as well.
Have a good interior sun
Marta
Yes, a genuine act of altruism is without any input from our ego. It reveals our true self, which our ego has no part of. Thanks for posting your insigtful comment.
what do I do when I feel depressed after listening to people and their woes..especially of people who unconsciously/habitually seem to exaggerate their misery and make it appear that there can be no way out...
OK thanks for this very challenging question. It is really nice that you give a lot of your time to people who sound seriously troubled. Next time this happens though, remember that this exercise is really for your own Self Enlightenment. When you remember this, you will notice how your seemingly selfish attitude has a positive effect on both of you. Thanks again for making your comment. You sound like a very generous and kind person. All the best, Richard
Be well. Be Peace!
But, having made a lifetime as a poet and channel in pursuit of the ability to reveal the highest truth available in any situation on request, I have never yet failed to provide it when asked. "Besides," a much more courageous inner voice reminded me, "So you can't do it -- what have you lost? Nothing!"
So I looke up into the man's eyes. His future was right there, staring back at me, ready to be told to him...
Walking down the street for me is like walking past dozens and hundreds of movies in mid-play, informing me, first of all, about this person's pain: where they are separated from Self, where they've been made to feel bad about their true Beingness... It can be very sad, and indeed, without medication I simply weep incessantly, pretty much round the clock...
It was such a releif when my intruction took me higher, and I was gifted with the realization that pain or no pain, it really IS all good!
It's so FUNNY that the question following our comment blank is "Are you human?" That's a good one, since so many of us interested in this site wouldn't be; really, totally that is...
Blessings on your wonderful work,
Analee
Richard, thank you for these little excercises... It realy makes wonders around me... sometimes I just feel embraced in so much love... it is wonderful ...I can't describe the feeling..like crying out of joy...being connected...loved...
When I try to racionalize all of it - I start loosing it... So I am trying not to do it, instead just to enjoy all that is there
Thank you
These opportunities give me time to relect and acknowledge just how far i've come on my path. I've learnt compassion, Humility and that a long the way we need to listen and share with others for solutions and signs to challenges in life. Even if it be a stranger.
Be open and keep listening your answer to your prayer may just be answered even by you.
What an amazing place we live.:)
Thanks for your reflections on this one. Sounds like you and Marie-Elise know what you are talking about from a professional therapy point of view. So its really good to have these valuable comments. I just want to say, that the ultimate purpose of the exercise is your own self enlightenment and not the enlightenment of the person you are trying to help. Maybe this makes this whole exercise, selfish?
Yes, I'm a practitioner. I spent years of experimenting with various healthcare modalities, experienced the "transcendental" ... and then had the crap scared out of me whilst hanging out in deserts and dark forests with a callous old shaman who simply reflected ME back to ME. I eventually trained as a life coach in order to develop useful skills for dealing with LIFE ... in others - and of course, in MYSELF - which is an ongoing project. Yep, I think that's selfish! But I think we underestimate the importance of "self"ishness - and the power that taking care of OURSELVES actualy gives us to then give to others. I've also spent a lot of time sitting on aeroplanes and always remember the before-takeoff advice to mothers or people with young children: to place the oxygen mask over their own mouth first!
We all like to think we care more about others than ourselves. I don't know why we need to do this. At the end of the day, I don't believe that any human being really does anything FOR anyone else. Please keep breathing while I finish ... I remember a whole bunch of people stopped breathing the first time I had the courage to ask people to consider this (I think at least one wanted to attack me with a knife)! I think the deeper motivation is ALWAYS about how we feel about ourselves ... or how we EXPECT to feel after we do something for someone else. And we might as well get used to the idea. This does NOT in any way devalue kindness, consideration and acts of goodwill -- just because we are motivated by a desire to feel good about ourselves (even if sometimes it's a backhanded way of feeling loved and approved of by others). I mostly find that when I listen to the the woes of others, I'm listening with my heart. I feel genuine compassion for people who are suffering ... but also for myself because it reminds me of some rough times I've experienced! And I have a genuine desire to help someone stuck in suffering.
HOWEVER: I'm also aware of listening with ANOTHER part of myself which is basically p***d off when people rabbit on and won't (or can't) help themselves ... because it also evokes a sense of sadness and helplessness in ME (sometimes even resentment when I remember the times when there has not been anyone there to listen to MOI). Is this what you mean by selfish? I certainly acknowledge this as selfishness, but that's why I'm pleased to be a multi-faceted human being who is designed to simultaneously experience multiple responses to any situation ... IF I take the time to listen to what is going on inside ME ... and not to judge what I feel or be momentarily swamped by any one part of myself (well maybe not always).
What do you think? Is this the point of this exercise? Is en-"light"-enment about seeing more clearly by shining a torch into the dark corners of who we are to discover that we are multi-dimensional beings who experience unique combinations of the same human qualities and "flaws" ... and that we are all a bit alike on the inside? Yes, I am defnitely human!
sorry to take a while with this reply. Thanks for opening up your thoughts on the forum like this. I think the best way to reflect on all this is meditation. When in the meditative state there is a sense of just knowing, that defies written explanation. As you say, it may be something to do with us being multidimenional beings. Once again thanks so very much for your words of inspiration. Love and Peace Richard
Most people would say that I am a good listener and even as a young person, people wanted to tell me their troubles and hopes. This is fine of course. It is flattering when someone chooses you to unburden themselves. However, I have noticed, perhaps uncharitably, that there are some people who revel in their own dramas and traumas, who suck energy out of the listener. I think this is a dangerous relationship. I had a close friend for 20 years. I realised that our friendship was based on her talking and me listening and helping her sort out her life. I obviously cared about her, I still do, but when I gave an opinion that she did not care for, even though it was given gently with a view to helping her, she disappeared from my life.
I've accepted this. I still want to help people and I'm still a good listener when it's genuinely needed. I just feel we have to be careful.
Thank you Richard for this talking point. It has certainly helped me.